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Animal Jokes
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Praying Parrots |
| A lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but They only say "Hi, we are prostitutes. Do you want to have some FUN?\"
"Thats terrible!", the priest exclaimed, "Bring your two talk ... |
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Smitty the Parrots Birthday |
| Harry says to his pet parrot Smitty, "What do you want for your birthday?" Smitty says, "I want to get laid."
So Harry takes Smitty to a parrot whore house, gives him a hundred bucks, and Smitty goes upstairs with a hot-looking parrot whore.
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Whale of a Story |
| A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan, when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier.
He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim u ... |
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Ventriloquist and the Indian |
| A ventriloquist cowboy walks into town and sees an Indian sitting on his porch. He figures hell have a little fun...
Cowboy: "Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him?"
Indian: "Dog no talk."
Cowboy: "Hey dog, hows it going?"
Dog: "Doin alrigh ... |
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Three Dogs |
| There were three dogs at the vet talking to each other when one says,"I chewed up all my masters shoes, and thats why Im here".
The next dog said,"I peed on my masters $1,000 rug".
The next dog then comes in and says,"My master is a female an ... |
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The Road Runner |
| The Roadrunner was feeling very amorous one day, and since there were no other female roadrunners around, he decided to look around.
He happened to spot a lovely dove. Bzzzzzz... down he goes and feathers are flying, lots of dust in the air and t ... |
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The Little Boy Who Was Stomping |
| One day, a little boy, was outside in the backyard stomping on honeybees. When his father came out and saw what the little boy was doing, he made him stop right away and told the little boy, "Thats it for you. No honey for a week." Well, then the lit ... |
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The Fowl-Mouthed Parrot! |
| A woman was walking down the street past a pet shop, and when she looked in the window there was a gorgeous parrot for sale with a sign that said "$50.00".
She had always wanted a parrot, but had found them to be too expensive, so she rushed in a ... |
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The Chicken and The Egg |
| A Chicken and an Egg were lying in bed one night. The chicken smoking a cigarette with a smug grin on its face, the egg looking thoroughly ticked off.
The egg looks at the chicken and says,
"Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!" ... |
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The Brown and White Cows! |
| There was a farmer who had a brown cow and a white cow and he wanted to get them bred, so borrowed his neighbors bull and turned it loose in the pasture.
He told his son to watch and come in and tell him when the bull was finished.
"Yeah dadd ... |
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